The Gabbatoir Has Fallen (29/03/2024)
Collingwood play Brisbane @GABBA. Last time these two sides played, it was the last Saturday in September. This Easter Thursday, three rounds into the 2024 season, neither team have recorded a win. Jesus Christ. (pun intended)
Pregame
darcy!!!!!!!!!! hopefully he won't suck this game........
Quarter One Liveblog:
That bounce was CRAZY high wtf
Collingwood with the Coast To Coast™️
R R R R R RAYNERRR
jamie elliot????????????????????????
no spike on edge???????????????????? ok
WHAT IS THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF A GAME
FINN MAGINESS???? PLEASE DONT SAY IM THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THAT HAAAAAAAAAA
Redditor u/Brokenmonalisa’s comment reading “Big Finn mcginnes tagging daicos so hard he’s followed him to the game before"
The number of uqestions are just. Growing
What the fucking fuck
That is Dumb.
THis game is fucking sutpid
That. Is premiership Key Defender Forward Billy Frampton
Quarter One Writeup:
This is a clusterfuck of the first quarter, from both teams.
But mostly Brisbane. This is due entirely in part to the fact that Nobody can take a mark inside their f50. Their one goal has been from a crumb because neither Daniher or Hipwood can keep hands on the fucking thing
Meanwhile Bobby Hill is marking them left right and centre
Finn Maginness still lives in Collingwood's head rent free. Sorry, Reef. (Also, yes this implies commentary are Collingwood. To that I say. Have you heard BT)
Beau is doing so well!!!!
Darcy is doing alright
Loving Starcevich right now. Not only because bald icon, he's playing good
Quarter Two Liveblog:
Brisbane learnt to mark?(two seconds later) No
whAT
Get fucked Mason
ERMAHGAWD A MARK INSIDE BRISBANE'S F50??
SEE THAT'S WHY MARKS ARE IMPORTANT BRISBANE!!!
HIPWOOD STILL CANT MARK FFS
Thank you Reef
Dubious free but ok
Dubious free but ok x2
WHAT ARE YOU ASKING THESE GUYS TO ACHIEVEEEE JUST KICK AT THE GOALSSSS
FUCKING FINALLY CHARLIE
COUNTRY ROAAAAAAADSSS
TAKE ME HOOOOMMEEEE
TO THE PLAAAAACE
I BELOOOOOOOOOOOONG
WEST VIRGINIAAAAA
MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAA
TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOMEEE
COUNTRY ROAAAAAAADSS
I love the GABBA crowd but specifically when Charlie Cameron kicks a goal
HUGVBJKQWDKHJLruhhhh nooo........
jaspa..... what a name.... what a goal.....
Awww they're hugging
I love intercept marks
Oh the margin is two points? (two seconds later) One point?
HAAHAHAHAHH THAT WAS TEXTBOOK FUCKING HOLDING THE BALL GET FUCKED DARCY CAMERON
COLLINGWOOD SCORELESS??????????????
Quarter Two Writeup:
Collingwood held SCORELESS in a quarter for the first time under Craig McRae
COUNTRY ROAAAAAADS
OHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THEEEEREEE
Choccy Neale!!!
Collingwood just aren't Collingwooding right now. Not great
Brisbane still can't mark it but apparently if you bomb it into the f50 enough you figure out how to kick goals anyway
P R E S S U R E G A U G E probably at like 200+ right now holy Shit
TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOME
Man. football is weird
Quarter Three Liveblog:
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG THE KILLERS?????? I LOVE THIS SONG
So ready for those stats to cancel out and for Nothing to happen in this third term. Or 50 goals are kicked equally. That also is very possible
Mark Blicavs mention??????? Huh I wasn';t paying attention
BEAU <33333 BEAU FROM LONG RAAAAAANGE
Joe that was kinda weird broski
Oh my fuckin god Joe marked one
Noble this isn't even Goomba what are you doing
You don't even know what Goomba fucking is
NOW MCINERNEY???? HAVE THEY LEARNT HOW TO MARK
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ok
Silly Harris, now Brody has a shot at goal
McCrae off.
(After Lachie Neale visibly twists his ankle and continues to hobble around on field) How can he still be playing. No man that isn;t how
Mate.
We're back to Clusterfuck Football
THIS IS LIKE A FINALS GAME?? NO THIS IS SPOONBOWL BEHAVIOUR
Awh shit, now we have to listen to fucking Let It Go
Fuck it's spelt Macrae. Fin Macrae subbed off
Good footy from Hill to Lipinski
Lipinski. Lowkey though (tags: shhhhhhhhhh Darcy better though)
Schultz has done lihgt. Nothing.
That literally miseed he did nothing broski
UMPS CALL IS A MARK?????? DUCK OFFFFFFF
FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF
Okay then Mihochek good kick
That was just poor leading and then a poor kick man
i could make a funny umpire joke but it might not actually be funny so no
Not me like 'oh Beau will find a way' (Beau, did not in fact, find a way)
(two seconds later) Told ya Beau would find a way
YES BEAUUUUUUUU
Actual Bruh Moment
Goddamnit Emblebury
god DAMNIT Emblebury!!!
384 games without a suspension?
Hmm.
"Balls" Peak commentary
Quarter Three Writeup:
the Collingwood Comeback
BEAU MCCREERY!!!!!! MY SPECIAL LITTLE GUY
Collingwood are just good now. Not much more too it
OH and the umps.
haAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa
Brisbane have learnt to mark which is pretty cool
Not sure if they've learnt to score though
Or to not commit crimes
i mean. everyone out here crimeing
Scott Emblebury may sustain a fine, or perhaps even a suspension for punch to the stomach of Choccy Neale
Boos sustained every time he was on screen across the GABBA
Eric Hipwood doesn't fucking exist
Neither does Lachie Schultz
Jack Crisp came on as sub, played for ten minutes, got a blood nose, came off, came back on
What a ride
Quarter Four Liveblog:
Downfield frees.... never. never heard of them
Zac Bailey kicking goals that Aren't as difficult as you like
A screenshot reading “I’d turn straight just so I could turn gay for Nick Daicos #AFL"
oh my god lachie did something
HAAAA POSTERRRRRRRR
reef............. i love yuo................ oh shit
SUITCAAAAAAASEEEE
Oh hey Kai!
DYLAN ROBERTSON?
so maybe you Should play Crisp....
Lohmann deadass waiting for the guy to pick it up for he can put pressure on
and yet. Another Goal
ELLIOTT GOES BANG
Oh my god Hipwood marked it
I am going to fucking Shit myself
Back to where the margin was at the start of the quarter.
Hmmmmmmmm
HWAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK
Tips? Never Fucking Heard Of Them
HE KICKED IT INTO THE GUY ON THE MARK GWYUAKL:
THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL!!!!!!!
PREMIERSHIP PLAYER BILLY FRAMPTON
how od just let mihocheck get there tho..
Massive game of football... against North Melbourne
KAIIIIIIIII
Damn Brsiabe
LINCOLN NOOOOOOOOO
Coooooooolllllliiiiiiinnnnngggggwwoooooooooooooood
bad kicking... bad football....
Fuck you i am Not watching roaming biran
the Gabbatoir has been Broken
first Goomba, now the Gabbatoir... what's next..... Hawthorn beat GWS at Manuka??
Man oh man my tips are fucked
and thats a wrap!
Post-Game Writeup:
COOOOOOOOOLLIIIIIIIINGGGWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Literally Lions were coming back
And then.
And then they weren't
Many dubious calls with regards to umpiring but hey that's football and Collingwood and whatever and yeah
My tips are fucked
Kai Lohmann is a lad
ugh now i have to listen to nicky discos
Eric Hipwood ????
Either he sucked ass or Billy Frampton is actually the GOAT
Beau McCreery is my special little guy :(
Brody Mihochek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah that's all from me I'm knackered, I'm sad, I can't laugh at Collingwood anymore, etc