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The Gabbatoir Has Fallen (29/03/2024)

Collingwood play Brisbane @GABBA. Last time these two sides played, it was the last Saturday in September. This Easter Thursday, three rounds into the 2024 season, neither team have recorded a win. Jesus Christ. (pun intended)

Pregame

  • darcy!!!!!!!!!! hopefully he won't suck this game........
  • Quarter One Liveblog:

  • That bounce was CRAZY high wtf
  • Collingwood with the Coast To Coast™️
  • R R R R R RAYNERRR
  • jamie elliot????????????????????????
  • no spike on edge???????????????????? ok
  • WHAT IS THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF A GAME
  • FINN MAGINESS???? PLEASE DONT SAY IM THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THAT HAAAAAAAAAA
  • Redditor u/Brokenmonalisa’s comment reading “Big Finn mcginnes tagging daicos so hard he’s followed him to the game before

    Redditor u/Brokenmonalisa’s comment reading “Big Finn mcginnes tagging daicos so hard he’s followed him to the game before"

  • The number of uqestions are just. Growing
  • What the fucking fuck
  • That is Dumb.
  • THis game is fucking sutpid
  • That. Is premiership Key Defender Forward Billy Frampton
  • Quarter One Writeup:

  • This is a clusterfuck of the first quarter, from both teams.
  • But mostly Brisbane. This is due entirely in part to the fact that Nobody can take a mark inside
  • their f50. Their one goal has been from a crumb because neither Daniher or Hipwood can keep hands on the fucking thing
  • Meanwhile Bobby Hill is marking them left right and centre
  • Finn Maginness still lives in Collingwood's head rent free. Sorry, Reef. (Also, yes this implies commentary are Collingwood. To that I say. Have you heard BT)
  • Beau is doing so well!!!!
  • Darcy is doing alright
  • Loving Starcevich right now. Not only because bald icon, he's playing good
  • Quarter Two Liveblog:

  • Brisbane learnt to mark?(two seconds later) No
  • whAT
  • Get fucked Mason
  • ERMAHGAWD A MARK INSIDE BRISBANE'S F50??
  • SEE THAT'S WHY MARKS ARE IMPORTANT BRISBANE!!!
  • HIPWOOD STILL CANT MARK FFS
  • Thank you Reef
  • Dubious free but ok
  • Dubious free but ok x2
  • WHAT ARE YOU ASKING THESE GUYS TO ACHIEVEEEE JUST KICK AT THE GOALSSSS
  • FUCKING FINALLY CHARLIE
  • COUNTRY ROAAAAAAADSSS TAKE ME HOOOOMMEEEE TO THE PLAAAAACE I BELOOOOOOOOOOOONG WEST VIRGINIAAAAA MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAAA TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOMEEE COUNTRY ROAAAAAAADSS
  • I love the GABBA crowd but specifically when Charlie Cameron kicks a goal
  • HUGVBJKQWDKHJLruhhhh nooo........
  • jaspa..... what a name.... what a goal.....
  • Awww they're hugging
  • I love intercept marks
  • Oh the margin is two points? (two seconds later) One point?
  • HAAHAHAHAHH THAT WAS TEXTBOOK FUCKING HOLDING THE BALL GET FUCKED DARCY CAMERON
  • COLLINGWOOD SCORELESS??????????????
  • Quarter Two Writeup:

  • Collingwood held SCORELESS in a quarter for the first time under Craig McRae
  • COUNTRY ROAAAAAADS
  • OHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THEEEEREEE
  • Choccy Neale!!!
  • Collingwood just aren't Collingwooding right now. Not great
  • Brisbane still can't mark it but apparently if you bomb it into the f50 enough you figure out how to kick goals anyway
  • P R E S S U R E G A U G E probably at like 200+ right now holy Shit
  • TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOME
  • Man. football is weird
  • Quarter Three Liveblog:

  • WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG THE KILLERS?????? I LOVE THIS SONG
  • So ready for those stats to cancel out and for Nothing to happen in this third term. Or 50 goals are kicked equally. That also is very possible
  • Mark Blicavs mention??????? Huh I wasn';t paying attention
  • BEAU <33333 BEAU FROM LONG RAAAAAANGE
  • Joe that was kinda weird broski
  • Oh my fuckin god Joe marked one
  • Noble this isn't even Goomba what are you doing
  • You don't even know what Goomba fucking is
  • NOW MCINERNEY???? HAVE THEY LEARNT HOW TO MARK
  • Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ok
  • Silly Harris, now Brody has a shot at goal
  • McCrae off.
  • (After Lachie Neale visibly twists his ankle and continues to hobble around on field) How can he still be playing. No man that isn;t how
  • Mate.
  • We're back to Clusterfuck Football
  • THIS IS LIKE A FINALS GAME?? NO THIS IS SPOONBOWL BEHAVIOUR
  • Awh shit, now we have to listen to fucking Let It Go
  • Fuck it's spelt Macrae. Fin Macrae subbed off
  • Good footy from Hill to Lipinski
  • Lipinski. Lowkey though (tags: shhhhhhhhhh Darcy better though)
  • Schultz has done lihgt. Nothing.
  • That literally miseed he did nothing broski
  • UMPS CALL IS A MARK?????? DUCK OFFFFFFF
  • FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF
  • Okay then Mihochek good kick
  • That was just poor leading and then a poor kick man
  • i could make a funny umpire joke but it might not actually be funny so no
  • Not me like 'oh Beau will find a way' (Beau, did not in fact, find a way)
  • (two seconds later) Told ya Beau would find a way
  • YES BEAUUUUUUUU
  • Actual Bruh Moment
  • Goddamnit Emblebury
  • god DAMNIT Emblebury!!!
  • 384 games without a suspension?
  • Hmm.
  • "Balls" Peak commentary
  • Quarter Three Writeup:

  • the Collingwood Comeback
  • BEAU MCCREERY!!!!!! MY SPECIAL LITTLE GUY
  • Collingwood are just good now. Not much more too it
  • OH and the umps.
  • haAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa
  • Brisbane have learnt to mark which is pretty cool
  • Not sure if they've learnt to score though
  • Or to not commit crimes
  • i mean. everyone out here crimeing
  • Scott Emblebury may sustain a fine, or perhaps even a suspension for punch to the stomach of Choccy Neale
  • Boos sustained every time he was on screen across the GABBA
  • Eric Hipwood doesn't fucking exist
  • Neither does Lachie Schultz
  • Jack Crisp came on as sub, played for ten minutes, got a blood nose, came off, came back on
  • What a ride
  • Quarter Four Liveblog:

  • Downfield frees.... never. never heard of them
  • Zac Bailey kicking goals that Aren't as difficult as you like
  • A screenshot reading “I’d turn straight just so I could turn gay for Nick Daicos #AFL

    A screenshot reading “I’d turn straight just so I could turn gay for Nick Daicos #AFL"

  • oh my god lachie did something
  • HAAAA POSTERRRRRRRR
  • reef............. i love yuo................ oh shit
  • SUITCAAAAAAASEEEE
  • Oh hey Kai!
  • DYLAN ROBERTSON?
  • so maybe you Should play Crisp....
  • Lohmann deadass waiting for the guy to pick it up for he can put pressure on
  • and yet. Another Goal
  • ELLIOTT GOES BANG
  • Oh my god Hipwood marked it
  • I am going to fucking Shit myself
  • Back to where the margin was at the start of the quarter.
  • Hmmmmmmmm
  • HWAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK
  • Tips? Never Fucking Heard Of Them
  • HE KICKED IT INTO THE GUY ON THE MARK GWYUAKL:
  • THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL!!!!!!!
  • PREMIERSHIP PLAYER BILLY FRAMPTON
  • how od just let mihocheck get there tho..
  • Massive game of football... against North Melbourne
  • KAIIIIIIIII
  • Damn Brsiabe
  • LINCOLN NOOOOOOOOO
  • Coooooooolllllliiiiiiinnnnngggggwwoooooooooooooood
  • bad kicking... bad football....
  • Fuck you i am Not watching roaming biran
  • the Gabbatoir has been Broken
  • first Goomba, now the Gabbatoir... what's next..... Hawthorn beat GWS at Manuka??
  • Man oh man my tips are fucked
  • and thats a wrap!
  • Post-Game Writeup:

  • COOOOOOOOOLLIIIIIIIINGGGWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
  • Literally Lions were coming back
  • And then.
  • And then they weren't
  • Many dubious calls with regards to umpiring but hey that's football and Collingwood and whatever and yeah
  • My tips are fucked
  • Kai Lohmann is a lad
  • ugh now i have to listen to nicky discos
  • Eric Hipwood ????
  • Either he sucked ass or Billy Frampton is actually the GOAT
  • Beau McCreery is my special little guy :(
  • Brody Mihochek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Yeah that's all from me I'm knackered, I'm sad, I can't laugh at Collingwood anymore, etc